Cicicraftsidn
Answered

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I am writing a poem to send off to the 2015 K1 poetry contest. Please tell be what you think and any adjustments I need to make.

Change

Bullying hurts, don't you see?
Your nothing but a big bully.
Harsh words, and tortured hearts,
Scars and wounds, Oh where do I start!

Don't you think of what could happen?
What if they cry themselves to sleep,
and by morning its too hard to get on their feet.
What if they put a razor to their skin?

Or write a note to say goodbye,
their family and friends left wondering why?
Their afraid to go to school,
because of bullies like you.

The words you say, do make bruises,
but they don't fade away.
Deep scars that stay on their hearts,
a new scar forming everyday.

So instead of hurting them,
please just make a change.
For you and me,
don't be sane.

Sagot :


It's great! I would change some of the more graphic parts just a little, but other than that it's great! I'm entering one, too.
its really quite well written; it was really emotional. Just some small changes: In the third line of the 3rd stanza, it should be "They're afraid to go to school" , not "their". 

also, i would recommend removing "but" in the 4th stanza. 

and the last line of the piece tells the people to be crazy, which im sure you didnt mean. I think it should be "be sane" or "don't be insane"

really nice writing though. 
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